Thursday, June 03, 2004
Truth Stranger Than The Onion
So, I got to thinking, while watching today's National Spelling Bee, that technology is a marvelous thing, and that according to my friend Skif's Internet Theorem, there was probably a former spelling bee champions' site somewhere, its only distinguishing characteristics being (a) it's only really busy once a year after the ESPN broadcast, because people who like to argue about things will want a place to discuss whether the pronouncer screwed up and (b) it will have a refreshingly low amount of verbiage such as "OMG LOL".
So, in spite of my better judgment, I went searching for such a site, being a former spelling bee kid and kind of a junkie. I didn't find one, or at least I got tired of paging through Google looking.
Instead, I found this news article, which I was convinced, surely had to be satire, right?
No.
Gods above, can't you people argue about why you like Miller Lite instead?
So, I got to thinking, while watching today's National Spelling Bee, that technology is a marvelous thing, and that according to my friend Skif's Internet Theorem, there was probably a former spelling bee champions' site somewhere, its only distinguishing characteristics being (a) it's only really busy once a year after the ESPN broadcast, because people who like to argue about things will want a place to discuss whether the pronouncer screwed up and (b) it will have a refreshingly low amount of verbiage such as "OMG LOL".
So, in spite of my better judgment, I went searching for such a site, being a former spelling bee kid and kind of a junkie. I didn't find one, or at least I got tired of paging through Google looking.
Instead, I found this news article, which I was convinced, surely had to be satire, right?
No.
Gods above, can't you people argue about why you like Miller Lite instead?
Comments:
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I'm actually of two minds about this. In many respects, this reminds me of the Year Zero campaign. In principle, the notion of having a phonetic system of spelling (as German does) sounds appealing. In practice, it's an impossibility. For one thing, English lacks any central language authority, such as the French have. Since we can't even standardize the spellings between American English and British English, this sort of reform would be impractical.
A broader barrier is that English spans a wide range of dialects and accents. The phonetic spelling of a Bostonite (chowder = chowdah) is going to be rather different than the phonetic spelling of a southerner (sir = suh). As such, you'd either be in a positition where the phonetic spellings of words ended up being mutually incomprehensible to different groups or you'd have to mandate an official phonetic pronounciation which would appear just as illogical as our non-phonetic spellings to a wide variety of groups.
A broader barrier is that English spans a wide range of dialects and accents. The phonetic spelling of a Bostonite (chowder = chowdah) is going to be rather different than the phonetic spelling of a southerner (sir = suh). As such, you'd either be in a positition where the phonetic spellings of words ended up being mutually incomprehensible to different groups or you'd have to mandate an official phonetic pronounciation which would appear just as illogical as our non-phonetic spellings to a wide variety of groups.
It's not that I deny there would be any utility to spelling reform, actually. There are, of course, the problems that you mention. What really struck me about it, though, is that people feel strongly enough about the issue to protest a gathering of eighth-graders.
Besides, if there's one thing The Power of Babel taught me, it's that languages will change, and that they're prone to doing more than strictly necessary (TWO things!). Arguing about it seems as useless as arguing about the seasons changing.
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Besides, if there's one thing The Power of Babel taught me, it's that languages will change, and that they're prone to doing more than strictly necessary (TWO things!). Arguing about it seems as useless as arguing about the seasons changing.
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