Today's Amazing Fact, and Some Lists

Today's amazing fact is that when identical twins separated as birth are tested in adulthood, their political attitudes, liberal versus conservative, have a correlation coefficient in the range of 0.5 on a scale of -1 to +1 (cited in Steven Pinker's truly excellent book, The Blank Slate). That is, to a surprisingly large degree, your genes determine your politics. Trippy, eh?

I've been called a progressive or a Democrat or a liberal or even a left-winger a fair bit lately. Maybe it was the kinda-sorta defense of Michael Moore. It might have been the astoundingly overdone project, Bob Woodward's Plan of Attack, a saga in nine parts with an epilogue. Or maybe it's the Kerry-Edwards sticker on the car, something that I myself can't believe I've done. Sure, I've tried to be balanced. I had some reasonably nice things to say about Reagan. But things had gotten to the point where I had started to wonder: Is this it? Have I sold out? Am I now reduced to partisan hackery with token attempts to prove my status as a neutral observer?

It's not as if I was raised in some sort of liberal ideological cocoon. Readers, meet my parents. Dad's a farm boy from downstate Illinois who was drafted into the Army during Vietnam, ended up enjoying the military and becoming an officer, eventually rose to the rank of major, retired, and then spent a good long time working for the federal government before retiring from that last year. I gave him Home Depot gift cards for several gifts in a row, and he was delighted. He's pretty conservative (though not religious), as one might expect from a rural veteran. Mom's a city girl who grew up in a working-class Baltimore neighborhood. She teaches high school English, firmly, but with a lot of imagination, flair, and unceasing desire to expose her students to things they haven't seen before. She believes she's seen two great presidents in her lifetime so far, Kennedy and Reagan. She doesn't seem particularly daring superficially, but she married my father after dating him for two weeks when he got orders to be shipped back to Illinois to finish college, which is really pretty bold when you think about it. She's a maverick politically (though I'm not sure she sees it that way) -- a public school teacher who hates No Child Left Behind but is voting for Bush, but who never really had much nice to say about Newt Gingrich (who was our Congressman).

He's a little bit country; she's a little bit rock'n'roll. I admire them both immensely, and I swear I'm not just sucking up because they know where this blog is. But given all that, it would be surprising, in the extreme, if I turned out just like a normal person whose parents are from the same region and have similar beliefs and all the other things that everyone in the world except me seems to have in common in their parents. I've got a lot of different stuff all mixed together in my background, and it would be disappointing to have one side silence the other.

Fortunately, I've been reassured twice in the past week that Red State Natalie is still alive and well. Clue One was my thorough enjoyment of Team America: World Police. Yes, it's disgusting and graphically violent and sexual. Don't take your kids. And yes, it certainly takes its shots at the political right (come on, you knew that from the title, surely?). But I was delighted to discover that I'm still enough of a redneck to enjoy seeing Janeane Garofalo say "We actors can just read what's in the newspapers and repeat it like it's our own opinion!" and to cackle with glee as Hans Blix is eaten by a shark.

Clue Two was the good hour of combined intrigue and hysterical laughter caused by the arrival of a heretofore unknown to me catalog in my mailbox. Somehow or other (probably all the consorting with leftists I've been doing) I ended up on the mailing list for Northern Sun, which is, I quote from the front cover, "products for progressives since 1979." Oh, my. Of course, I do have plenty of positions in common with progressives, so some of the material I found tempting.

Five Designs That I Liked in the Northern Sun Catalog

1. "God was my co-pilot... but we crashed in the mountains and I had to eat him."
2. A cartoon of a bunch of Dalmatians in church, being preached at by yet another Dalmatian, who is declaring, "And he said unto them, 'Bad dogs! No, no!'" The caption, inevitably, is "Hellfire and dalmatians."
3. "Warning: due to the shortage of robots, workers here are human beings and may react unpredictably if abused."
4. A poster reading "Is your washroom breeding Bolsheviks?" Link provided because I don't think text can do this one justice...
5. "I read banned books."

But mostly, my reaction was one of, whoa, these people are... really... different.

Five Things That Made Me Roll My Eyes in the Northern Sun Catalog

1. The many, many products seeking to beatify the late Senator Paul Wellstone, including a green bumper sticker with a peace sign asking "What Would Wellstone Do?" Wellstone was a good person, but not particularly well-known among the general public. Only a catalog for progressives based in Minnesota would market hagiographical merchandise about the man.
2. "Cat Lovers Against the BOMB" 2005 Wall Calendar.
3. A tombstone inscribed, "Bill of Rights -- 1791-2001 -- Slain by the Patriot Act -- Rest in Pieces." Come on, I don't like the Patriot Act either, but I think the rumors of the demise of the Bill of Rights might be a trifle overblown.
4. "Eat Tainted Meat, Breathe Poison Air, Drink Nasty Water, Help Only Yourself -- Vote Republican." Oh, yes, they'll be staying up late at night in Omaha rethinking their positions now that you've shown them the error of their ways!
5. The list of "worthy causes" printed on the back of the order form, including International ANSWER (Act Now to Stop War and End Racism), the International Campaign for Tibet, the Leonard Peltier Defense Committee, and Prison Radio and the Redwood Justice Fund.

This was the point when I realized that I'm not in any danger of becoming an unrecognizable leftist caricature of my former self, Kerry sticker or no Kerry sticker.

In celebration of my renewed confidence, I offer you one more list:

Four Amusing Results of My Mixed Political Heritage

1. I like NASCAR. I intend for my next car to be a Toyota Prius.
2. I used to have a concealed weapons permit. I got it before volunteering as an abortion clinic escort.
3. I've become a bit of a wine snob. With dinner, I usually order iced tea. Unless it's that nasty stuff that comes out of a soda fountain.
4. I live in an urban neighborhood where English, Spanish, Japanese, and Vietnamese are all about equally spoken. When I want Mexican food, I'm ashamed to admit, I very often go to On the Border.

Until next time, say it loud, I've got a lot of different allegiances and I'm proud!

 
6:05 PM